BRAC Blessings

When I was diagnosed with cancer and my surgeon wanted to do a genetic test, I had no idea the impact those test results would have on my family.  I knew that it would matter for my own treatment, but I was completely oblivious to how it would affect my mom, my sister, my kids and my nieces.  My eyes were soon opened!  My test came back positive for BRCA2.  Thanks to this information, I knew that I needed to have a bilateral mastectomy rather than a lateral mastectomy.  Being positive for BRCA2 puts me at a 12% risk of a second breast cancer within 5 years of the first, as well as a 16% risk of subsequent ovarian cancer.  We also learned that each of my first degree relatives has a one-in-two chance of having the same mutation.  And so the testing began!  My sister, Stacy, was the first to be tested after me.  She was also positive for BRCA2.  She took her results in stride and was only angry that because we didn't know about the test before I was diagnosed I didn't have the same opportunities for prevention.  My mother was next, and felt sure that since two of her daughters had it, that she would absolutely have it too.  She was right.  My sister, Sheryl, was a little more hesitant and unsure about whether or not she wanted the test.  She had worried about breast cancer ever since we lost our beautiful Aunt Laura to the horrid disease.  She pestered her doctor to start mammograms as early as possible due to our family history, and was sure that she, not her baby sister, would be the next in our family to have breast cancer.  Praise God, she was spared from any further worry for herself or her two daughters when she received her negative test results! Mutations in the BRCA2 puts the carrier at risk for an 84% risk of breast cancer by the age of 70 and a 27% risk of ovarian cancer by the age of 70.  The options currently available for those who are BRAC positive are increased surveillance such as self exams, clinical exams, mammograms starting at age 25-35 and CA125 testing (blood work); chemoprevention such as tamoxifen which has been shown to reduce the risk of breast cancer and oral contraceptives which may reduce the risk of ovarian cancer and preventive surgery such as a mastectomy (removal of the breasts) and oopherectomy (removal of the ovaries).  Mom and Stacy chose to have the preventive surgeries just after they received their test results and Sheryl (along with our kids, husbands and Dad and StepMomma) took on the role of care taker for us all. We are now almost 2 years out from all those tests, decisions and surgeries and we are all cancer free.  In September, my daughter, Taylor turned 18 years old, which is the youngest age that one can submit to the BRAC test.  I had known I wanted her tested since I found out my own results.  She went back and forth about whether or not she wanted it, but when she turned 18 she decided she wanted to know once and for all.  She was tested in October and she is also positive for BRCA2.  She will start monthly self exams and semiannual clinical exams and CA125 testing.  We obviously had hoped that she would join Sheryl and the girls in the negative club, but we are still thankful to know!  What a blessing BRAC Genetic Testing has been to our family.  Knowledge truly is Power!  The power to prevent, the power to screen and the power to stop worrying.
ALL FACTS ABOUT BRAC GENETIC TESTING TAKEN FROM "UNDERSTANDING YOUR GENETIC TEST RESULT" BROCHURE PROVIDED BY MYRIAD LABS

Happy Thanksgiving

Therefore since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we can offer to God an acceptable service with reverance and awe; for our God is a consuming fire.  Hebrews 12:28-29

I am thankful for my salvation and the hope I have in Jesus Christ my Lord and savior.

Psalm 28:7 -The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him.

I am thankful for my family, my husband, my daughter, my son and my stepson, my Daddy, my mom, my stepmom, my sisters, my brother-in-law, and my nieces. They have each played important roles in my life and through it all they have taught me so much about life, laughter and love. 

Psalm 69:30  I will praise the name of God with song, And shall magnify Him with thanksgiving
I am thankful for my Pastor, my church, the entire church staff and my entire church family.  They have taught me, inspired me, loved me, prayed for me and made my husband and I a part of the family.  They have supported me in my walk with Jesus and helped me in my ministries and missions.

1 Chronicles 16:34 O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting
I am thankful for my friends, my home, the food in my pantry, my warm socks, my blankets, running water, my bodywash, my toothpaste and tooth brush, my clothes, my health, my ability to love and receive love, my sewing machine and the ability to sew....this list could go on and on!

1 Thessalonians 5:18  in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I thankful for the cancer journey and all that God has taught me.  I am thankful for the many ways he has used me and the cancer, some of which I don't even know about.  I am thankful for all that has come from my families cancer journey, our closeness, our strengthened faith, our involvement in Relay for Life to raise money for awareness, research and quality of life programs, our ministries, Caps of Hope and Cancer Care Ministry.  I am thankful for the opportunity to speak and share my testimony with others and I am thankful for the burning desire to share the Hope of Jesus Christ with as many people as I can. 

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!  NOT JUST DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON, BUT EVERY SINGLE DAY!  GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!

Sharing the Love

I know it is no secret that I love to sew.  Taking pieces of pretty fabric and turning them into something beautiful and useful brings me great joy. I first caught the sewing fever when I decided I wanted to make quilts.  I saved up and bought a sewing machine and Mom bought me a how to book for my birthday.  Using that book, I made my very first quilt for my son, Zachary.  I was definitely hooked on sewing after that!  The next couple of years I made quilts for all three of my kids, my husband and the rest of my family.  Venturing out to sew anything other than quilts didn't occur to me until I started looking for knee length skirts to wear on my first mission trip to the DR.  Comfortable, knee length skirts are difficult to find these days, especially when you are tall and have long legs!  Therefore, I decided to be brave and make my own skirts.  I purchased a pattern and asked mom, who had made clothes for my sisters and I as children, to come over and show me how it's done.  We spent a very pleasant afternoon together cutting, sewing and laughing and completed a skirt!  We were so proud!  I went to slip the skirt on and was shocked when it would only fit over one leg!  I was a size 8 at the time and had followed the size 8 pattern.  Heartbroken, I broke the news to Mom, who then sheepishly admitted that she forgot to mention that pattern sizes are rarely the same as store bought clothing sizes!!!!  After taking my measurements and comparing to the pattern, we discovered that according to the pattern I should have made the size 14!?! skirt!  Lesson learned!  Once I realized that I could make more than just blankets I started searching for even more ways to use this wonderful new skill.   Around the same time that I was branching out in sewing skills, I also started looking for a project to do with our Women on Mission group at church.  I came across a chemo hat pattern online and was thrilled by the idea of merging my two loves, missions and sewing.  My beautiful aunt, Laura, died from breast cancer when I was 17 years old, and I thought this would be a wonderful tribute to her, sharing the love of Christ and God's word to cancer patients through the caps.  I presented the idea to the Women on Mission group in May and they thought it would be a great project for the fall since we would not be meeting over the summer.  That July I was diagnosed with breast cancer myself, and what was suppose to be a one time sewing project blossomed into the Caps of Hope Ministry.    These days pretty much all of my sewing time is taken up in caps and that's just fine with me.  I get the occasional urge or opportunity to make something else for family and friends.  I got to make my daughter's friend's play costume and my friend's daughter's flower girl dresses.  My passion is with the caps though and I find much peace, joy and relaxation in putting together the fabrics, cutting, sewing and mailing or delivering the caps.  This morning I got to share my love of sewing with a sweet friend, teaching her what I know about making a pillowcase dress for her twin daughters.  The first thing I taught her though, was how to make a chemo cap!  The more helpers I can get the more caps we can get out there! Whether it's knowledge, quilts or caps, it feels good to share the love, all in the name of Christ!

Camp Bluebird.....learning what resting is all about!

I remember being very proud that my Daddy, as a member of the Telephone Pioneers, worked as a volunteer at Camp Bluebird for several years.  I enjoyed listening to him talk about it and could tell he was really touched by the experience.  Camp Bluebird is an Adult Cancer Camp put on by the Telephone Pioneers and Decatur General.  I have been wanting to go since my diagnosis but was a little shy and worried about not knowing anyone, so when Daddy suggested that he and I go together this time, I jumped right on it!  I'm so glad we did!  I had so much fun meeting all these wonderful people.  The campers, who are fellow survivors, have endured the same things as me and have this wonderful spirit of comraderie and strength and endurance about them.  How encouraging to be around all of them! They welcomed me right into their little family and made me feel loved and accepted and understood. The counselors and workers are just wonderful giving of their time to love on cancer survivors.  I am very humbled to have been loved on and cared for by these strangers who became family in an instant.  As a first timer they have me a little spoiled and expecting gifts to continue to magically appear on my bed as they did all during camp but so far it hasn't happened since I've been home...but I'm still checking perodically ;0). What a blessing it was to enjoy this experience with my Dad there with me.  He was a busy little bee cooking and driving the golf cart and helping all the campers, and I really loved seeing him enjoying helping everyone. I on the other hand did not work, plan, stress or think about a to do list and spent more time relaxing in these 3 days than I probably have in several years! God really spoke to me during this camp about slowing down and taking time to just "be still".  I am praying about how to make that happen.  I want to be healthy and rested and happy so that I can give my all to Him and to my family.   I spent a lot of time rocking on the front or back porch of our cabin and have decided that I need a couple of rocking chair for my porch at home (will have to save up for those!)...what a perfect place to do morning devotionals! I am very thankful for Camp Bluebird and I'm already planning what little gifts I want to give to the new campers, counselors etc next camp and how I'm going to dress up for the theme!  Yep, I'm hooked, I am definitely a Bluebird! 

putting on the armor of God.......

Every time my petscan rolls around I am afraid.  Afraid of recurrence and the what if's set in.  What if the cancer is back.  What if I have to have chemo again.  What if it’s not curable this time.   I hear stories of reccurrence all the time and it frightens me too.  Celebrities, friends of friends, church members.  No one is immune.  What if it happens to me. 

Everytime I hear of someone dying of cancer, I feel guilty.  Even when I hear of someone suffering through their cancer journey, I feel guilt because even though my journey was difficult, there are others who have it so much worse.  Survivor’s guilt is something I think a lot of people deal with.  Why did I live and my friend or family member died.  Why did I survive cancer and so many others don’t.  Why did I make it through treatments in 8 months but a 2 year old child has to endure it, and have a much harder time of it, for 2 years. 

When my scan comes back clean I feel a lot of relief and then the same whys and guilt set in and I find it hard to feel the joy of survival that I should feel.  

I’d been going along this roller coaster since my petscan 2 weeks ago until God spoke to me through my daily devotional.  It talks about bringing all of your feelings to Jesus, even the ones you wish you didn't have like fear, doubt and anxiety.  It also talked about affirming your trust in God regardless of how you feel and not hiding your fear and pretending it doesn't exist.  I realized I had not given my true feelings to God but as I read the devo and scriptures that followed about putting on the Armor of God, He spoke to me and taught me that when I have doubt or questions I should :

Put on the belt of truth – the truth I have clung too since my diagnosis is that God has promised me good not harm and has given me hope for the future

Put on the breast plate of righteousness

Have my feet fitted with readiness that comes from the gospel of peace- with God, I am ready for whatever happens because I am at peace with God’s plan for my life

I should carry the shield of faith – faith that God is in control even when I don’t understand the how or why’s

I wear the helmet of salvation – knowing that no matter what happens to my earthly body, I will be totally healed in Heaven where I will live forever with my Lord

Carry the sword of the spirit- which is the word of God – using God’s word and my cancer experience to share the good news of the gospel and the love of Christ with others which gives my cancer a purpose.

I pray God will use this as a reminder for me everytime the petscans roll around and I get those same feelings of fear and guilt and questioning.  And that I will always remember, in all situations, to wear God's armor. God Bless :)

Jesus Calling

If you are looking for a devotional, and even if you are not....I highly recommend "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young.  A sweet friend who's husband is currently in cancer treatment suggested it to me.  It is written as if Jesus Himself is speaking to you, and believe me He is! I strongly suggest anyone who is going through cancer or anything else in their lives to pick up a copy, I truly wish I could afford to include one of these along with each cap I send out!  It's just too good not to share!  Here is a sampling from yesterday. "Stop worrying long enough to hear my voice.  I speak softly to you, in the depths of your being. Your mind shuttles back and forth, hither and yon, weaving webs of anxious confusion.  As My thoughts rise up within you, they become entangled in those sticky webs of worry.  Thus, My voice is muffled and you hear only white noise.  Ask My Spirit to quiet your mind so that you can think My thoughts.  This ability is an awesome benefit of being My Child, patterned after My own image.  Do not be deafened by the noise of the world or that of your own thinking.  Instead, be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Sit quietly in My Presence, letting My thoughts reprogam your thinking.  Deutoronomy 30:20; Genesis 1:27; Romans 12:2.

Wow....always seems to be just what I need, just when I need it.....just like God ;-)

Take THAT!

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11 ahhhh my fave verse.

Yesterday we celebrated Cancer Survivor's Day :)  today, we celebrate my 36th birthday!  I use to fret over growing older.  I wanted to hang on to my youth and worried about getting "old" and dying.  Now I just say bring 'em on!!!!  After facing up to the fact that I had a life threatening illness at the age of 34 and cancer could've stolen away my 36th, 40th, 50th birthdays, I have much more reason to celebrate each and every birthday I am blessed to get! I want to make each and every day matter, not only for myself and my family, but for God as well.  He is the one that allowed me to defeat the cancer monster and keep it from stealing any birthdays from me! A young leukemia survivor shared with me that as cancer survivors we get many birthdays.  Your real birthday (today), your diagnosis date (7/15), your last chemo date (1/24), your last radiation date (4/15) and now I found out yesterday there is a National Cancer Survivor Day (6/3).  I guess one could say celebrating all of these "birthdays" could just mean we are materialistic and want gifts and attention.  But the reason I want to celebrate each and every day is to just celebrate life, to set aside certain days to remember what I learned from my cancer journey in case I have forgotten and let life get the best of me again. And to show others who are still battling the cancer monster that there is Hope and that Hope lies in Jesus Christ!  So Happy Birthday to us, happy birthday to us, happy birthday to all the cancer survivors/fighters/caregvers/family members happy birthday to us!!!!  Take THAT cancer, my God is Greater! 

any time, any where......

My husband and I went away last weekend to Charlotte, NC.  Our main reason for travelling to Charlotte was for the NASCAR All Star Race.  Or so we thought.....  The race isn't until Saturday but we go up on Thursday night.  Jim likes to say that Friday is my day and Saturday is his day.  The first trip we made to the Allstar Race after I started sewing, I found a wonderfully huge fabric store in nearby Gastonia, NC called Mary Jo's.  I loooove Mary Jo's.  So Friday morning we went to Mary Jo's, then we mosied over to the Sam Bass Gallery and actually got to meet Mr. Bass, who, in case you don't know, is a famous artist who does many Nascar paintings.  It was pretty cool.  After that we returned to the hotel to relax at the pool for a while until dinner.  We were hanging out with our feet in the pool enjoying each others company when a daring man who had been sitting across the pool from us with another man decided to brave the extra chilly pool to cool off.  He dared Jim to join him and Jim not being one to ever turn down a challenge hopped right in.  We all laughed and then they both returned to their previous seats.  I got really hot myself a short time later and decided to walk in and the same man, seeing that I was a little timid about the cold, decided to walk in with me, holding my hand and giving moral support in the form of a little tough love...i.e. don't you scream, Alabama, don't let anyone see you are hurting, haha...  Again we all laughed and returned to our seats out of the cold.  A little later Jim decided to once again jump in and go over to the other side to talk to our cold water buddy and his friend who we later learned is his cousin.  My husband, never, and I do mean never, meets a stranger.  He was talking to them about the Allstar Race which Texas (I call him Texas because I never got his name and he is from Texas) had no interest in seeing at all.  He had come to NC just to visit his cousin and then go to the beach...or so he thought.....  Jim was telling them about last year's race and that I had just finished chemo and radiation at that time and the heat was just too much for me and how far we had come in a year.  Texas's cousin was intrigued because his mom had fought breast cancer as well.   During this time I had come to join Jim in the pool and he was saying that we couldn't have made it through cancer without our family and church.  I said it was all because of Christ and Cousin said he totally agreed.  Texas was sitting in his chair looking quite amazed, jaw dropped shaking his head, grinning.  He hit his cousin on the arm and said, "That's it right there."  We continued our conversation sharing about God's goodness and how he helped us through.  Finally Texas shared that he had talked to his cousin at lunch and told him that he just didn't believe in Christ anymore, that there just wasn't anything there for him.  He said that hearing us talking had changed him though.  He was so excited and saying that he knew why he was there now, it was to meet this woman and her husband who showed him Christ again.   How exciting is it to share Christ anytime, but especially so unexpectely!  We weren't there on a mission trip, we weren't there with our church family.  We were just on vacation and God used us.  Any time.....Any where...... in Any way......God will use your story, your life, your words...your everything.....let Him.

God at Work :)

I just love to see God at work!  My husband and I started a Cancer Ministry at my church last night.  I had this grand expectation of lots of people showing up because I know that lots of people in our church have been touched by cancer.  My fear was that a lot of people would come but not come back again because what we offered wasn’t appealing to them.  As I shared this fear with my sweet friend, Stephanie, she made a statement that literally stopped me in my tracks.  She said something along the lines of , “Kim….do you believe God called you to start this ministry?”  Wow, don’t you love how God puts just the right people in your life at just the right time.  Love this girl! She went on to remind me that  it didn’t matter  if it touched one or one hundred with the ministry, whatever God’s will is for the ministry…it’s His will , I just have to be obedient.  I do believe this ministry is God’s calling. And it is HIS ministry.  We had 9 people there last night and I truly saw God at work as we shared our stories and our information.  I was reminded once again that it’s not only the cancer patient or survivor who the cancer affects.  It is the family, the caregivers, the friends, the church family.  It affects everyone around the cancer patient.  And once you have been touched by it, it never leaves you.  Praise God for giving all of us strength to endure the things we never imagined being strong enough to endure.   Praise God for giving us family and friends to care for us.  Praise God for the testimony of the survivor and the testimony of the surviving caregivers and family and friends.  Praise God for Jesus Christ and the Hope provided through him.  If you are reading this right now and do not have a personal, saving relationship with Jesus Christ,  please contact me or someone else you know that does.  Whether you are going through cancer or not, I promise you that you NEED that HOPE, whether you realize it or not!  I pray that as this Caps of Hope Ministry and the Cancer Care ministry grows that God will use them to reach the unreached and to comfort, encourage and meet the needs of everyone He sends our way J  I look forward to seeing God working in and around us even more. 

What Cancer Did......

At a recent women's fellowship at my church, a fellow cancer survivor shared from a book titled "What Cancer Cannot Do."  I've seen the poem with the same title as well as tshirts, mugs, etc. boasting what cancer cannot do.  It is very inspirational.  I went and bought the book from Lifeway to share with my upcoming Cancer Care Ministry group.  As I sit here flipping through the book, I started thinking about what cancer did for me instead of what it can't do, and I am realizing that the positive ways cancer effected my life are much more numerous and long lasting than the negative ways cancer effected me.  Cancer helped me to grow closer to the Lord.  Cancer solidified an already strong bond between my husband and I.  Cancer brought me and my family closer together.  Cancer helped us to learn about BRAC, which in turn saved my mother, my sister and possibly future generations from having cancer.  Cancer gave me time to spend with my Dad.  Cancer inspired the Caps of Hope Ministry.  Cancer helped me to grow strong enough to share my faith with others.  Cancer gave me a powerful testimony.  Cancer positively changed my outlook on life and what is important to me.  Cancer strengthened my faith, taught me how to pray and how to study God's word.  Cancer showed me how many loving friends I have.  Cancer gave me a platform to share the Love, Hope and Word of God.  "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.........

Ridin with the Wind :)

 Before cancer, I would never, ever ride with the windows down.  I mean I loved the way it felt when I was younger but I didn't want my hair to get messed up once I got older.  This aggravated my sweet hubby, who, loves to ride in his truck, "Big Red," with windows down and stereo blaring!  Once I lost all my hair I rediscovered the love for the feel of wind blowing through my hair, well over my head, lol.  Oh I just loved it and when spring rolled around, I even started getting brave enough to slip my wig off of my head when I got into the car after work, roll the windows down and enjoy the wind!!!!!  I enjoyed last spring and summer as my hair was growing back in not having to worry about the wind blown look since my hair was still so short.  I have a full head of hair now, not quite the length it was before it came out but close. When I walked out of work today and noticed how nice and warm it was (in the 70's) a big smile spread across my face as I realized that I didn't want to go back to the old me who worried more about her hair than something I truly enjoy.  So I excitedly walked to the car, cranked it up and rolled the window down!  I have a dinner to go to at church tonight, but I didn't care.....I was ridin' with the wind and loving every minute of it!!!!

Inspired.

I just finished reading a wonderful book titled My Once Upon a Time by Sarah Liborio.  Sarah is a missionary who previously lived in the Dominican Republic.  The book is a wonderful love story based on her life.  It is a love story of how she met, dated and married her husband, but also a story of her love for the Lord, as well as her husband's Love for the Lord.  Sarah inspired me in so many ways with her story.  She inspired me to seek God's will for my life at all cost.  Not just when it fits in with my desires.  She inspired me to be a better wife to my husband, because that is what God wants and expects from me.  She inspired me to continue sharing my story even when I start to think no one would want to hear it, because you never know who you are touching by sharing your story or how.  I am honored to have met Sarah while in the Dominican Republic and to get to do some street ministry with her before she moved on to Costa Rica, where I know she is inspiring a whole new nation and giving God all the glory for it! 

Power of Pink

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, my sisters and mom ran out and started buying every pink ribbon item they could get their hands on.  Although pink has always been my favorite color, I didn't want to see anything pink, wear anything pink or even hear the word pink for a long long time.  I just didn't want to think about having cancer on the days that I wasn't in treatment, recoverying from treatment or recovering from surgery.  I just wanted to be the old me on those days....not the new cancer patient me.  I felt bad for this attitude because I feared that if I didn't stop feeling that way that God wouldn't be able to use me for whatever he was planning to use me for. Well by the grace of God, I now love pink again, lol, and will go to every Pink event for breast cancer that I can possibly go to!  Friday night my family and I headed to Tuscaloosa to the Power of Pink Gymnastics Meet.  We love our BAMA no matter what sport it is and especially when they are sporting for our cause!  It was breathtaking walking up to the Colosieum all lit up in pink and everywhere you looked you saw pink tshirts and the occasional pink feather boa (like mine!).  We arrived in time to see the pre game ceremonies where they honored several breast cancer survivors and then asked all of us to stand and be recognized.  Sometimes I have a problem with that because I didn't do anything special...I'm just a girl who had cancer.  God deserves all the glory for me surviving it!  Then I am reminded that the more I wear pink and pink ribbons and allow myself to be recognized as a survivor, the more I CAN glorify God by telling my story and all that he did for me and my family!  So pink it up Survivors!  Wherever you are, wherever you go....wear someting to identify yourself as a survivor and maybe you will be blessed with a divine appointment and meet someone who needs to know about Jesus and how the Lord saves....both physically here on earth and eternally!

Cancer Days

Every now and again I experience days that throw me right back into the realization that I am a cancer patient.   I call these my cancer days.  Although my surgery was almost 2 years ago, I just celebrated 1 year since my last chemo treatment, and my 1 year anniversary since radiation ended is just around the corner.....I am still a cancer patient.  A SURVIVOR, definitely, but a cancer patient all the same.  Normally, I take this title with a grain of salt, and a thankful heart and the title has no negative connotation at all to me.  Every now and then though, the pain, irritation, and side effects get to me.  I always feel guilty when I have down days because I have so much that I am thankful for in my life and a lot of it came through my cancer journey, but I am only human and sometimes I believe that God allows me to have these "cancer days" so that I am better equipped to empathize and share with my fellow cancer patients.  I don't ever want to forget what being a cancer patient feels like, as crazy as that may sound, because I want to always be able to share with others going through what I went through. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future."  All the affirmation I need to get through my cancer days knowing that God is always in control and I will continue to pray that God will continue to use me and my cancer for His plan to help others and further His kingdom. 

Finally Making a Delivery!!!!

I'm so excited to be this {} close to taking a basketful of Caps to the Cancer Care Center this week!  If I had not run out of ribbon I would be completely ready!!!  It's been a couple of months since I've been able to say that and I have just felt terrible for the delay!  I let the holidays get the best of me with busyness and although this was probably the most wonderful holiday I've ever had because the bulk of my holiday experience was spent in worship of the Lord and celebrating His birth, I still felt guilty for not having the extra time to do what I feel he has called me to do which is to share His love and message with my fellow cancer patients.  Too often we let our busyness get in the way of God's business. In this new year, I have set many goals for myself.  The overall goal is to take control of my life and my time.  I want to set a routine for myself that includes all the aspects of my life, from family and housework, financial, church activities, Relay for Life activities, and of course Caps of Hope :).  In each section I am in the process of setting up a routine and a goal for what I want to accomplish in that area of my life this year.  I got the wonderful idea to set up a notebook from a sweet friend and I hope it will help me to stay organized.  And hopefully being more organized will leave me the opportunity to do God's work when he wants me to do it, not when my schedule allows me the time to do it!  "Yet not as I will, but as you will."  Matthew 26:39